Se Dante fosse stato cameriere, probabilmente avrebbe dovuto ampliare il numero dei gironi dell’inferno. Di sicuro uno lo avrebbe assegnato a tutta quella categoria di clienti che non hanno ben inteso che la prenotazione al ristorante non è vezzo aristocratico, ma una necessità pragmatica, in particolare il fine settimana.
Mentre già si rimette a parlare con i suoi amici, il cameriere attinge alla riserva di pazienza che tiene di scorta per il fine settimana
Eppure è proprio di sabato sera, quando il locale di norma (o almeno si spera), è già al completo dal pomeriggio. Ma ecco che alle 21.30, con la nonchalance di chi dopo un lungo aperitivo ha deciso all’ultimo momento di voler mangiare un antipastone da dividere e una tagliata di filetto con verdure, si presentano in 4…pardon, a volte nemmeno si presentano, ENTRANO nel locale e si avvicinano ad un tavolo ancora da sparecchiare ma libero dei commensali che sono da poco andati via:
Il cameriere che nonostante non sappia che faccia abbiano i 4 del tavolo Gregori, che ha prenotato li per il secondo turno, intuisce che non sono loro quattro, quei Gregori che hanno chiamato il giorno prima per un tavolo alle 22.00 – “Forse arriviamo prima”.
Ed ecco che appunto con la precisione di un orologio svizzero, quel tavolo, assegnato ad una famiglia che avrebbe lasciato il disturbo in tempi ragionevoli era pronto per essere preparato per i prossimi clienti prenotanti…che non sono però quelli che si stanno apprestando ora a sedersi!
“Buonasera. Gregori?”
“Ci può sparecchiare il tavolo e portare un pò d’acqua frizzante nel frattempo?”
Mentre già si rimette a parlare con i suoi amici, il cameriere attinge alla riserva di pazienza che tiene di scorta per il fine settimana.
“Mi scusi a che nome ha prenotato?”
“Non abbiamo prenotato, ma è libero questo tavolo no?”
“No mi dispiace, è prenotato”
E li ti guardano come se li stessi prendendo per il culo. Dubbiosi che tu gli stia dicendo o meno la verità però, non demordono e iniziano a fare ragionamenti e deduzioni circa l’andamento della serata e l’ipotesi di tavoli in procinto di liberarsi, che è proprio il caso di dire, fanno i conti senza l’oste.
“Ma quanto c’è da aspettare?”
“Guardi in realtà non prendiamo prenotazioni dalle 17 di oggi pomeriggio”
“Ma è proprio pieno?”
“Eh si, mi dispiace”
“Ma quel tavolo che sta al dolce, se aspettiamo un attimo fuori, ci fumiamo una sig…”
“Anche quello è prenotato, come le dicevo tutto il ristorante è pieno stasera”. Nel frattempo che il cameriere è li che cerca di far capire in ogni modo che non c’è alternativa che andare altrove, ovviamente avrebbe, nel cuore di un servizio di sabato sera, da fare un’infinita moltitudine di cose.
Mentre con lo sguardo analizza l’andamento dei propri tavoli e cerca una via di fuga da questo empasse, inizia la procedura di sgancio dal cliente con le frasi di rito.
A volte, come se non bastasse, dopo che hai perso 5 minuti a convincere il capo del gruppo che molto semplicemente, non ci sono posti per la sera, arriva l’amico spalla o ancora peggio la sua ragazza, che fino a quel momento si era completamente disinteressata alla conversazione convinta che la vostra fosse una rimpatriata tra vecchi amici che non si rivedevano da tempo, ed esclama qualcosa tipo:
“Ma che succede? QUESTO tavolo non va bene?”
E li il nostro cameriere inizia a pensare che la scorta di pazienza potrebbe non bastargli fino a fine serata. Mentre con lo sguardo analizza l’andamento dei propri tavoli e cerca una via di fuga da questo empasse, inizia la procedura di sgancio dal cliente con le frasi di rito:
“Signori mi chiamano dalla cucina”, tanto suona sempre un campanello dal pass, e loro non sanno chi sta realmente chiamando.
“Vi lascio un nostro biglietto da visita per la prossima volta”, lasciando intende sottotitolato, che la prossima volta dovete chiamare e prenotare!
“Mi dispiace signori” – con un sorriso ormai fin troppo finto, e appena vede passare un collega qualsiasi lo aggancia come ancora di salvataggio – “Scusatemi devo andare…”, e avvicinandosi a quel collega intavola camminando una conversazione dai toni estremamente importanti, come se ci fosse subito da preparare un tavolo imperiale per la nazionale di calcio in arrivo tra 5 minuti.
Piccolo quesito di fine articolo.
Se tra i nostri lettori ci dovessero essere anche clienti, vi facciamo una domanda.
Secondo voi quando alla fine di questo sipario, il cliente recita il suo:
“E come facciamo noi adesso?”
Secondo voi, al di là di quello che il cameriere risponderà, lui, che cosa sta realmente pensando?
#ladivinaocccata
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